When the Season Changes: Giving Yourself Permission to Be Where You Are
There is something about October that makes change hard to miss.
The mornings get cooler. The days grow shorter. Leaves begin to change, and eventually, they let go.
Change is part of life.
Some changes are welcomed. Others arrive without our permission.
A diagnosis. A relationship ending. A child leaving home. A dream that didn’t turn out the way we hoped. The death of someone we love.
Sometimes we find ourselves standing in a season we never would have chosen.
You don’t have to rush through it.
We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to move forward.
We wonder why we’re still hurting. We compare ourselves to other people and wonder if we’re somehow behind. We think we should be doing better by now.
But seasons don’t all last the same amount of time.
Neither do our seasons of life.
There are seasons when we feel strong and capable, and there are seasons when we’re simply getting through the day. There are days when we can see how far we’ve come, and days when grief catches us completely off guard.
That doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going backward.
Sometimes it simply means we’re human.
You are allowed to be where you are.
Give yourself some grace.
Maybe you’re tired.
Maybe you’re still figuring out what life looks like now.
Maybe you’re grieving something that other people don’t even realize you’ve lost.
Maybe you don’t have a neat answer when someone asks, “How are you doing?”
That’s okay.
Healing doesn’t require pretending something didn’t hurt. And hope doesn’t require pretending everything is okay.
Sometimes grace looks like lowering your expectations for a while. Asking for help. Saying no. Letting yourself cry. Admitting that something is hard without immediately trying to fix it.
Especially in grief, we can be incredibly hard on ourselves.
But grief doesn’t follow a calendar.
And healing doesn’t either.
There is still hope.
Hope doesn’t have to mean believing everything will work out exactly the way we want it to.
Sometimes hope is much quieter.
Hope can be believing that you won’t always feel exactly the way you feel today.
Hope can be trusting that there can still be meaningful moments after loss.
And for those of us who have faith, hope can mean trusting that God is present even when we don’t understand the season we’re walking through.
You don’t have to have the whole path figured out.
You may only need enough hope for today.
As you notice the changing leaves and cooler mornings this month, maybe let the changing season remind you:
You don’t have to be somewhere else.
You don’t have to have everything figured out.
You don’t have to rush your healing.
You can acknowledge where you are while still believing there is more ahead.
And if the season you’re in feels especially difficult, you don’t have to walk through it alone.
That’s part of why Hope Again Counseling exists. Whether you’re grieving, supporting someone who is, or simply walking through a difficult season of change, I’m here as a resource.
You can also join my free Facebook community, When Grief Stays: Living With Loss Together, or attend my free monthly grief talk.
Sometimes we don’t need someone to fix the season we’re in.
Sometimes we just need a safe place to be honest about it.
A safe place. Real conversations. Hope for today.
— Jessica Frasier, LPC-S
