The Power of Forgiveness: Letting Go to Heal

by Jessica Frasier, LPC-S Wellness

Forgiveness is one of the most profound and liberating choices we can make. It has the power to release us from the grip of past hurts and open the door to healing and peace. However, forgiveness is often misunderstood. It is not about excusing harmful behavior, forgetting the pain, or reconciling with the person who caused the harm. Instead, forgiveness is about releasing the hold that pain has on us and choosing to move forward.

Forgiving Does Not Mean Condoning

One of the greatest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it equates to condoning the actions of those who hurt us. This could not be further from the truth. To forgive someone does not mean you approve of or accept their harmful behavior. It simply means that you are choosing to let go of the resentment and anger that can poison your heart and mind. You can acknowledge that what happened was wrong while still choosing to release the emotional burden it created.

Forgiveness Is Not Forgetting

The phrase “forgive and forget” can be misleading. True forgiveness does not mean erasing the memory of what happened. In fact, the lessons we learn from painful experiences can be vital for our growth and protection. Forgiveness is about deciding that the pain no longer controls your thoughts and actions. It allows you to move forward without continually revisiting and reliving the hurt.

Forgiveness Is an Action, Not a Feeling

It is easy to think that we must feel like forgiving before we can take that step, but forgiveness is a decision we make—not an emotion we wait to experience. If we wait until we feel ready, we may never begin the healing process. It is through the act of forgiving that our hearts begin to soften, and over time, our feelings often catch up with our actions. In essence, we must forgive first to allow the feelings of peace and release to follow.

The Poison of Unforgiveness

There is an old saying: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” Holding onto resentment and bitterness only harms us. The person who caused the hurt may never be affected by our unforgiveness, but we carry the weight of that pain every day. By choosing to forgive, we free ourselves from this toxic cycle and create room for joy and healing.

Forgiveness Does Not Require an Apology

Another common myth is that forgiveness can only happen if the other person apologizes or acknowledges their wrongdoing. The truth is, forgiveness is for you, not them. You do not need an apology to begin the healing process. The person who hurt you may never admit their actions, and they may never change—but you have the power to reclaim your peace regardless. Likewise, the person you forgive does not need to receive or accept your forgiveness for it to be valid. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Releasing Negative Energy and Making Space for Healing

When we hold onto anger, resentment, or pain, it stores itself within our bodies and minds. This negative energy can manifest as stress, anxiety, and even physical illness. Forgiveness is a way to release that stored tension and allow space for true healing. By letting go, we invite peace and emotional freedom into our lives.

Choosing Forgiveness Today

Forgiveness is not a one-time event—it is a journey. There may be days when the hurt resurfaces, but each time you choose to forgive, you take another step toward freedom. It is not always easy, but it is always worth it.

If you find yourself struggling to forgive, start small. Acknowledge the hurt, decide to release it, and remind yourself that forgiveness is for your well-being. With each step, you will find more space for joy, peace, and the life you deserve.

At Hope Again Counseling, we understand how challenging the journey of forgiveness can be. If you need support in navigating your healing process, we are here to walk alongside you. Remember, forgiveness is not about forgetting—it is about freeing yourself to embrace the future with hope.

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